Your First Gay Sex: What to Start With?
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Your First Gay Sex: What to Start With?
Life is long, but there are moments when you do something for the first time. Sex – and your first gay sex in particular – is not an exception to this rule…

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Gay dating > Tips and Advices

Your First Gay Sex: What to Start With?

First Gay Sex

Life is long, but there are moments when you do something for the first time. The main rule for such moments is: be ready, behave in the right way and don’t spoil your future recollections of this with your mistakes. Sex – and your first gay sex in particular – is not an exception to this rule.

You are on the seventh heaven! Well, you and your partner one are now alone in an intimate atmosphere. Both of you are going to have a plenty of pleasure, your dreams are ready to come into this world… But you don’t know what to do now!

The best is if your lover has some experience already – then you may let him wear the pants in this field. In such case you may just relax and enjoy.

But if it is the first time for him too, you may face some problems. First you should overcome your fears.

One of the main beginner’s problems is the fear of new feelings and… well, it’s terrible to cross the line with no chance return, isn’t it? Fear takes molehills for mountains, doesn’t it? The fear of anal sex may take your lover for somebody strange or even disgusting. Many people can not permit the love linked with the organ used for defecation.

There is also a “religious barrier”; it’s rather an imaginary obstacle than a real one. Religious law does condemn many popular sex practices, oral sex for example. But only anal sex has its name derived from the Bible directly: it’s called “sodomy” after the city of Sodom, damned by Biblical God.

Create a romantic environment to overcome your fears easier. I mean intimate twilight, candles, soft music. Choose the proper illumination too: a yellow, pink or orange lampshade will share its beautiful tint with your skin; but neon lamps can only help you to scare your lover with your acne or bruises, if any. It would be better to use scented candles, but usual paraffin ones are also suitable. A mixture of different essential oils (ylang-ylang, patchouli or cassia) will create the delicate “magic” fragrance, it raises both the romantic feelings and the sexual attraction. It would be better to listen soft quiet music, something like “Romantic Collection”. Create a movie-like environment in your home.

Some specialists advice to watch a porno-movie together, but it may force things and speed up your sex. It’s not desirable for the first time.

Alcohol is a suitable means of relaxation. But don’t drink a bottle of vodka or whisky – not more than a pair of glasses with red wine, OK?

Well, you are in the intimate environment, you have enjoyed your wine and overcome your fears – it means you are ready to act.

I. The Foreplay

If you do think that your first gay sex is just impetuous fucking and its aim is to get the maximum pleasure as quickly as possible – then you are awfully wrong. Sex is a game for (mostly) two persons. You shouldn’t be a sprinter to win this game, but you have to be a professional in a way. Let’s make a long story short: we need not quantity, but only the quality. Is it clear?

Caress your lover to get all his gratitude. Caress him gently. Any experience is the matter of time. But there is some general advice below.

Let’s introduce an axiom: erogenous zones may be anywhere, the whole human body is an erogenous zone. I’m serious… Ask him what caress he would like to obtain; hope that he asks you the same question. Well, if you don’t want to ask verbally – then let him lie on his back, for the beginning. Then explore his body with your lips and tongue, and with gentle slight biting too. Move from his neck through the nipples to the lateral sides of the abdomen. Move to his arms, hips and legs too… Find the areas that make him moan and writhe with pleasure; caress him there again and again… Make him tired with pleasure, but don’t touch his dick now… Well, he’s ready. It’s time to caress his nephrite stem with your mouth…

II. Oral Sex

Oral sex is an important element of a sexual intercourse. It can be a way to the maximum pleasure. Oral sex is the second safe and clean (after masturbation) form of sexual activity. Moreover, oral sex is possible almost anywhere. This is why it’s widely used by gay males.

Lick your lips slowly but with plenty of saliva to ensure the best sliding along the desired shaft. Start with tea-bagging, then kiss and massage the dick’s root with your lips; touch the root with the tip of your tongue, as if you were trying to tickle the shaft. The contact should be slight for the initial time: don’t press and don’t suck too strong. But you are moving upward, the lips pressure is slowly increasing, the tongue should perform the full-blown massage. Well, you are near the top, where both lovers should get the maximum pleasure. This ‘top’ is the glans. Use your tongue to touch the point between the glans and the shaft; then move upward along the slot on the glans’ downside to reach the glans’ top; and don’t forget to tickle the dick with your tongue. Now feel free to do what you want: you may make a tight ring of your lips around the dick, or squeeze the dick with the inner sides of your cheeks, or turn your tongue into something snake-like; you may swallow the dick fully or partially; you may even rest the dick against your tonsils, if it doesn’t caused any spasm of your throat. Feel free o do anything, but try to be as tender and gentle as possible. A dick is the organ for the maximum endearment, you see…

Well, simultaneously let your hands work too – explore his erogenous zones, you have already discovered them, but… Your lover’s prostate is ready to move heaven and earth; his testes are hiding in the scrotum, but they are ready to shoot the semen. It’s time to stimulate all these organs additionally. Give Him a Blowjob.

III. Anal Sex

The Fears

If you have some explicit or subconscious fear of anal sex, you’d better overcome these groundless complexes. If you do think that it’s dirty and unaesthetic – then pay more attention to hygiene. But if you are a real pedant and clean person (believe me, any self-respecting gay should be pedant and clean…) – then both your ass and your dick are always even cleaner than your washed hands.

The guy who is going to be the bottom for the first time, may also have some fear like this: “This long and thick one – into my small ass?! Oh my God, I’ll be impaled with it! Or, if I’m fortunate, it’ll be too painful…” To be honest, fear takes molehills for mountains: the reality is not so hard. Well, sometimes it may be painful, for the initial times especially. But much depends on both experience and skills; to endure for a bit worth the future pleasure. Real sexual incompatibility is a very rare thing. It’s very important: both lovers should be skillful in using their bodies. They should also remember that any love – even its corporal side! – is not mere anatomy.

If a man is the bottom – then his pleasure is much stronger than a woman’s one in the same anal intercourse. Every man has the prostate just near his rectum; one can get his orgasm by just having his prostate pressed. Moreover, every man has plenty of nerve endings in both his anus and rectum. It means that every man can get his pleasure by having his anus stimulated. Even a heterosexual man may let his female lover stimulate his anus (with a finger, for example) to get his pleasure. In this case it has nothing to do with any homosexuality.

The Safety

An anal sexual intercourse is the most dangerous kind of sex, for a bottom lover especially. It means that the mucous membrane of human rectum may be easily wounded during the act and HIV can be easily transmitted via both these microscopic wounds and semen. Use condoms in the right way to minimize the risk.

Maybe you don’t like condoms; maybe you guess that it can prevent you from getting the full pleasure. Well, it may be a bit inconvenient – but just a bit. Use plenty of your lubricant, take account of anal sex features – and get your safe and sound full pleasure!

Don’t save on your and your lover’s health! Buy only durable and high-quality condoms, use them within their shelf life period (before the “use by” date on the package); remember that condoms are not reusable. If it is possible, use high-quality condoms produced especially for anal sex; they are usually made of natural latex and they are generally much more durable than “simple” ones.

Open the package carefully – don’t damage the condom itself! Any condom should be put on the erect dick only.

How to Insert the Dick More Easily?

Condoms are usually lubricated slightly with silicone grease. But if you want to keep your ass safe – then you should lubricate the dick additionally. It’s better to use water- or silicone-based lubricants. If there is no such substance, use hair gel or water-soluble cream; but this is a last resort, remember it. Don’t use petroleum jelly, oils or any other fat-containing lubricant. Such lubricants do destroy condoms.

Use creams, there are plenty of them. But remember: the cream must be a water-soluble one too (test it: it should be easy to wash it off with cold water only, with no soap); it should not also irritate the rectum. Lubricate carefully both the condom outer surface (it would be better to add some lubricant into the condom’s end too, inside it) and the anus (finger it for this purpose).

Insert your dick slowly; stop from time to time to wait when the sphincter is relaxed enough. It’s forbidden to touch the bottom lover’s dick – such treatment should make his sphincter shrink involuntarily, and this will be painful.

Pay your attention to the inserting angle of the dick/finger: the rectum is not straight; it’s an S-formed cavity. It means that some inserting angles may make the bottom lover feel uncomfortable. The best way is to “level” your dick to your lover’s navel. But by and large, almost any angles are acceptable: the main idea is to feel comfortable.

IV. How to Get Ready to Anal Sex?

What Should the Bottom Lover Do?

It’s not obligatory to defecate or to do an enema just before an anal intercourse. Do it only if you do feel that your rectum is full. Try to relax your sphincter before the dick is inserted, i.e. try to “push” a bit.

What Should the Top Lover Do?

After the foreplay, the top guy may stimulate the other lover, with his finger for example, to let the bottom’s sphincter adapt to the dick’s dimensions. Don’t forget to use some lubricant! Insert your finger gently and slowly.

Anilingus is another way to stimulate the bottom lover; it is a form of oral sex involving contact between his anus and your mouth (lips) or tongue. The bottom’s anus should be clean to ensure you from infections.

V. The Positions

Well, everybody seems to know how to “fuck”. But when it comes down to it, one lover or even both ones may miss the pleasure. If you have already been the bottom, you know well the importance of the top’s behaviour: the inserting lover should be extremely gentle with the person who is literally giving himself up to the other. The bottom should relax, let him do it. He helps you to “level” your dick. Insert it carefully, make sure that you don’t hurt him. If the penetration is painful for the receiving lover – then take your dick out, stimulate your beloved one properly, add some lubricant and…

What position do you choose for your sex? Well, it’s a matter of taste. The main idea is that both lovers should feel comfortable and get their pleasure. There are many variants, but it’s senseless to enumerate them all. A pair can make love lying, sitting, standing and almost hanging in the air. Everybody (except absolute beginners) knows the basics; these positions are generally similar to the heterosexual ones. Well, let me describe the 5 classic positions, they are the most convenient ones:

– the bottom lover is lying on his stomach, the top guy is above him. Actually, this position is not very comfortable, and there is no deep penetration (however, if the dick is very long, this shallow penetration is even better);

– both lovers are lying on the side (the bottom lover is lying back to the top one). This position is quite good: first, it’s the least tiring one for both lovers and, second, the lovers can easily caress each other with their hands and lips;

– the bottom lover is standing on his knees and elbows, the inserting one kneels behind him and embraces his waist. The top lover is almost not limited in his motion; moreover, he can watch his dick in action;

– the top guy is lying on his back, and the bottom is now above him – the receiving lover should sit on the inserting one’s dick (mostly both lovers do it face-to-face to each other). Well, now the receiving lover may enjoy both the initiative and physical exercise.

– the bottom partner is lying on his back, his legs are thrown over the top’s shoulders; the latter may kneel or hang over his beloved one, resting his knees and arms. This is one of the most effective positions: the top feels self-confident and strong, he sees both the bottom’s face and how the receiving partner reacts; he also can enjoy the deepest penetration and caress the bottom’s genitalia.

Don’t forget kiss and caress each other if the position allows it. Pay the attention to the fact that even the most passive bottom lover is a man; he usually wants to ejaculate too – then take care of his dick, perform some hand-job for him. There are some ways to stimulate the top lover additionally: massage or nibble his scrotum, clasp slightly both his perineum and anus (this will give him with a rather quick and strong orgasm).

Feel free to express your feelings when making love. Be as relaxed as possible. Don’t try to control your face, motion, words, moans and even cries – they are useful, believe me… If you do really like or even love your partner – feel free to say him about this sometimes, but be honest fist of all. Believe me, your lover is glad to see and hear the signs of your pleasure – well, it’s the result of his activity, isn’t it? But the best way is not to speak at all! Well, even the “faster” or “slower” signals should be given in the body language. The nervous talk is the first thing to destroy any sexual pleasure. Be active, be noisy, but no connected sentences! Let your all-knowing brain be silent. Your body should rule you now. Well, some lovers may be aroused with vulgar chatter , but other ones hate it. Avoid any such chatter for the first time at least.

This is just for the bottoms: the bottom should remember that it takes two to dance tango. Help your lover, move toward his nephrite stem, embrace his buttocks and clasp him to yourself… Well, if you are able to shrink your anus sometimes for better contact with his dick – then he will be on the seventh heaven!

A piece of advice for the top: when taking your dick out after the orgasm, don’t forget to hold the condom rim, your lover doesn’t need your condom left in his anus. Then take your condom off, tie it up to prevent any leakage, and throw it away as a garbage; but don’t throw it into any flush toilet – this matter will not sink.

Now you may enjoy some rest, lying in a bed and embracing each other. Remember the sweet moments of the recent intercourse, enjoy the rest.

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