How to Measure Your Dick (illustrated)
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How to Measure Your Dick (illustrated)

How to Measure Your Dick

It’s known that the average length of an erect human penis is about 5-8 inches (14-19 centimeters). But many gay men do not know their penis’ dimensions.

Before the measuring – think if it’s necessary… We don’t want to cause your moral trauma. But if you are ready – well, do it in the right way.

Let us begin with the terms definition. The “penis length” is the linear distance (let call it “distance” because our readers’ cocks are extraordinary huge) from the lower abdomen (the penis’ root) to the other end of the penis. It’s necessary to measure the dorsal (upper) side of the erect dick. Measure the shortest distance along the straight line, not via Moon or Mars.

Is everything clear? Well, the show must go on!

To make your Moby (Why “Moby”? It’s Moby-Dick, a huge sperm whale) become erect visit an erotic photo-gallery, find a guy to your liking, and now – imagine him near you.

I do hope that the result is gained (I mean erection).

Set the DPLM (“DPLM” is the “Device for Penis Length Measuring”) near the very root of your erect pecker, close to the lower abdomen. Remember that “zero” should be against the abdomen. Don’t forget your safety – use a soft cardboard ruler. But it’s an absolute nonsense to use a ruler made of rubber or other stretch material.

Press the DPLM to the lower abdomen or to the prick, or press the prick to the DPLM. Well, use a thin mark pen to mark where the end of your dick on the DPLM is. Don’t draw in your stomach – this changes nothing, the distance measured will not increase by this.

Repeat the measurement for at least 4 times. It’s better to measure your dick on different days of the week, at different times of day and under varying ambient temperature. Both the distance and the dick’s diameter depend on the 3 abovementioned factors.

I wish you to have the outstanding results!

And don’t measure your dick in such ways:

This is a gift from Print it and measure your dick! (Don’t put your dick to the screen!)

You may believe or you may not. If you don’t just check it out.

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